lonely in gold
by salty nap princess
Summary: "Why are you even friends with Chloé? That girl has no heart." And Sabrina's response is one that's cheap, all beggar's talk – Sabrina and Chloé-centric


**Notes 1:** If you're going to leave a comment of how Chloé is more interesting or complex than Mari, **leave**. You can just say Chloé is interesting and complex without comparing her to Mari. There's no need to come to my fic and spill tea.

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 **lonely in gold**

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Sabrina Raincomprix knows what people thought of her. That she is mousy. That she is sad and almost pitiful to the point that she hides her invisibility by shadowing Chloé Bourgeois. Because in their eyes, she is nothing but a follower who is loyal to the _wrong person._

She also knows that **no one** believes her as much as they see her, which they don't. But. _BUT_ to Chloé, at least in Sabrina's point of view, she is her best friend.

Chloé is not who she seems. Chloé is not as rude as people think she is, the blonde isn't as selfish or heartless either. And the reason behind this is because Chloé takes Sabrina to the Galeries Lafayette to go shopping together. Because Chloé hangs out with Sabrina at **and** after school. Because Chloé treats Sabrina differently, as more than just a ginger girl with ugly glasses and an equally ugly knitted sweater.

Sabrina believe and knows that she is more than just a token 'all purpose' tool, more than just a stereotypical nerdy girl who gets pushed around, more than just pitied. Chloé has told Sabrina about her secrets, about her passion, about her missing mother. And Sabrina will fight tooth and nail to defend her **best friend** for these reasons and more.

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Twice.

Sadly, _twice_ and not just once, does Sabrina lose her faith in Chloé.

The first time is when Sabrina is paired up with Marinette for a science project; the same day she compares Marinette to Chloé and finds Marinette's tardiness to be ridiculous, that is, until the Evillustrator strikes and kidnaps the said tardy girl. Then all is forgiven with a stylish beret.

While the second time is when Sabrina herself is akumatized.

…

"Here," Is the first word Sabrina hears as Chloé presents the ginger girl with an open palm and a flower brooch.

"For me?" Sabrina asks. She knows it's a stupid question but she's too stunned to say anything else.

"Who else would it be for?" Chloé answers back.

To others – strangers in particular – Chloé Bourgeois's words would have sounded off. Perhaps, rough and biting. Definitely, rude and mean. But, they're **not** the ones standing in Sabrina's shoes. They're **not** the ones staring at Chloé's face that's soft and smiling as the blonde pins the accessory to Sabrina's sweater.

"You look pretty, Sabrina." Chloé compliments just loud enough for Sabrina to hear and her alone. There's no need for anyone else to eavesdrop on their conversation.

…

"I lost the brooch. I'm sorry, Chloé." Sabrina apologises, sounding terribly guilty and meek, because Sabrina knows how expensive it had been. Because she knows the expense of the brooch had come out of Chloé's own pocket money. Because she knows Chloé must have stopped in her tracks, looked at the flower accessory and thought of her best friend then bought it without a second thought.

Sabrina knows this, _all this,_ knows her best friend. But, at this moment, she can't read Chloé's mind.

Chloé's back is turned as she receives this news and perfect blonde hair is all Sabrina can see. There's a blanket of silence then a question, "Did you lose it after getting akumarized?"

Sabrina looks at the ground. "... Yes,"

Without missing a beat, Chloé replies, "I'll just get you a new one then."

;;

"Don't you think it's time we put our foot down?" Sabrina hears a familiar voice whisper during lunch.

"What are you talking about, Rose?" Mylène lowers her juice box.

"Chloé bullies Sabrina all the time, shouldn't we do something about it?" Rose rewords her sentence to her group of friends.

Juleks stays quiet and purses her lips together, eyeing the rest of the girls for their opinion.

"We shouldn't." Alix says, brutally truthful. "It's Sabrina's choice to be with Chloé. If she wants to be pushed around then who are we to stop her?"

" _Alix_ ," Marienette hisses under her breath as if to warn her pink haired friend to be mindful of her words. Though Sabrina suspects it's to avoid an akuma attack, wouldn't want to ruin a lovely clear sky day due to hurt feelings.

"No, she's right, Mari." Alya answers, putting a hand on her best friend's shoulder. "We shouldn't meddle with Sabrina's life."

Marinette shutters, considerate and caring as always, "But –"

"She's _too_ close to Chloé, who knows what _that girl_ would do if she finds out we took away her one and only friend!" Alya reasons, shaking her head.

This time, Marinette keeps her mouth shut and doesn't voice her opinion. There's a pause before Sabrina feels several pairs of eyes on her back, drilling into her and judging her friendship with the said gossiped blonde. Sabrina pretends not to notice their pity stares.

"Poor thing," Sabrina hears Rose voice like she's talking about fragile glass and Sabrina grits her teeth.

;;

"That girl has no heart." Sabrina remembers those exact words being uttered about Chloé Bourgeois one day in class.

Sabrina doesn't know why but those words hit her like a truck with its acceleration slammed. She can't remember who said it, she can't place the face but she remembers the outcome of it. The reaction it caused, of how Chloé's eyes glazed as she turned away and showed Sabrina nothing but shaky shoulders and shiny blonde hair.

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"Hi, Sabrina." Says a soft voice, sliding into an empty seat because no one but Chloé will ever sit with Sabrina.

It startles Sabrina as turns, surprised that someone is bothering to talk to her. That is, until she notices who's sitting beside her.

"Oh, hi, Marinette." Sabrina answers back.

"Can I ask you a question?" Marinette says, straight to the point, hands clasped together as if in a prayer.

"Um, sure?"

"Why are you friends with Chloé?" There is no hesitation in the question.

She gawks, "Wha – What?"

Marinette's gaze softens, and she attempts to reach out and touch a fidgeting shoulder. "I mean, with the way Chloé treats you … Sabrina, I don't think it's healthy."

To say such a thing …

Sabrina knows that people thought of her. They thought she was a fool. A stupid silly fool. A person who lets herself get bossed around and criticized by a spoiled rich brat, all while shuttering replies with her tail tucked between her legs.

Sabrina doesn't know why, but suddenly she feels her chest tighten and her anger rising. She feels offended but won't say it aloud.

"What has Chloé ever done for you?" Marinette rephrases her question after noticing Sabrina's searching eyes.

"She gifts me with things." Sabrina tells Marinette within seconds. Though the moment the words exit out of her mouth, she wants to slam it back down her throat. She thinks it's a bad call because it makes her sound like she's freeloading and materialistic. Like she's using Chloé for her money and nothing else. Which is untrue. So so so untrue.

Okay, so Chloé is rich – filthy rich – but money _isn't_ everything.

Plus, Chloé never remembers Sabrina's birthday. _Anyone's_ birthday in fact (just like Chloé's mother, Audrey Bourgeois). But that doesn't mean Chloé's gifts are any less personal or any less special. The blonde girl has gotten Sabrina plenty of things, all kept dear to her heart and carefully thought. Like the personalized hand tailored Chat Noir suit Chloé had asked to be made for the two to run around and play Ladybug and Char Noir to catch Big Mustachio; acting like little kids, acting silly without being judged.

Sabrina realizes, there's no going back now though, once she's implied that Chloé buys her way to her heart. So Sabrina ticks off her fingers, wanting to prove a point, as she goes on talking, "Chloé has gotten me a beret, brooches, a suit."

"That's …" Marinette trails off, not knowing what to say. "… is that it? Just things? Chloé has just gotten you things as a sign of friendship?"

"Are gifts wrong?" Sabrina asks back.

And in response, Maritnette pauses before she changes the topic, "You know, you can always hang out with the girls and I." Marinette says, meaning it with sincerity and kindness.

Sabrina allows herself to smile before shaking her head. She knows what Marinette is trying to do. It's sweet.

... but this is not a cry for help. Sabrina does not need help or saving from her best friend.

"Thank you, Marienette, but I'm fine." Sabrina tells the other girl, careful not to come off as guarded at the assumptions her classmates have made and planted in Marinette's head.

Blue eyes flicker for a moment, filled with concern and care, but Marienette knows this conversation is coming to an end. Marinette is hesitant as she says this, "If you say so."

Sabrina knows Marinette means well but she also knows that Marinette won't believe her. She says, "I do."

;;

"What are you going to do once you graduate school?" Chloé asks one day as the two lay on Chloé's bed, it's big and fitting for a queen; and they're painting their nails the same way warriors paint their faces for battle – bright and intense and, full of expression and passion.

"Um, I don't know." Sabrina answers, always unsure.

Chloé's grip around Sabrina's hand tightens, and that's not just to stop Sabrina from fidgeting or smudging the newly painted nail polish.

Chloé presses her glossed lips together and says, "You're smart, Sabrina. _Super_ smart. Didn't you say you wanted to go to law school?

"Well … yeah but – "

"You can make. Your dad knows stuff about law, right? He's a police officer." Chloé offers because she knows how much her best friend wants to become a lawyer while Chloé herself knows how much she wants to start a business and be her own boss. And what better combination is there between business partners?

Sabrina looks away, instead choosing to stare at Chloé's perfect hair, swept in a high ponytail and decorated with a pretty golden bee comb. "I ... I don't know. I don't think I'm smart enough."

"You're too timid, Sabrina." Chloé snaps, a bite in her voice though Sabrina doesn't mind. Because Sabrina knows Chloé will be forever honest with her, even if it's brutally honest. Even if it cuts deep. Because, to Sabrina, the truth is always better than anyone treating her like fragile glass, being constantly careful. "You should try before you doubt yourself."

A slow uncertain smile spreads on Sabrina's face, "Yeah ... maybe."

"No, _not maybe_." Blue eyes glare intensely into Sabrina's soul. "You _will_ try, Sabrina. You **have** to, you have so much potential! You're more than what you think you are!"

For a moment, Sabrina is shocked until she isn't. But she doesn't get the chance to say anything because Chloé goes back to painting her nails and acting like the conversation never happened.

"Thanks."

"Whatever," Is the response Sabrina gets.

Chloé was never good at being openly honest, just in secret.

;;

"Let's stop this." The words come out of his mouth without any regret or hesitation. "Let's stop being friends."

Chloé blinks her blue eyes as she watches Adrien pick up his noodles skilfully with a pair of chopsticks. He's eating ... _kung fu food_ , as Chloé remembers calling it herself many years ago.

Curling her manicured fingers into a tight ball, Chloé doesn't dare snap in public. She's an adult now. A young adult, but _still_ an adult. And this is a grown-up conversation; professional and mature, and yet … why can't she wrap her head around it? Why doesn't she understand? She … not a damn thing is making sense to her.

"Why?" Chloé can't help but ask.

"Because you're mean, Chlo. You're mean and I can't take it anymore." Adrien says and Chloé wishes he didn't call her by her nickname. It feels _more personal_ , _more hurtful._ Though she knows Adrien would never intentionally do that. Not kind Adrien Agreste. _Never_ her Adrikins.

Chloé feels her jaw clench and her teeth grind, holding back a frustrated scream. She thinks, _Okay. So what?_

So she's mean … and she's rude and proud. **So what?** _A lot_ of people are rude _. A lot_ of people are proud. Isn't that something French people are stereotyped for? (Besides being romantic)

Chloé swallows back her anger and tries to reason with herself. Okay, so she accepts these negative things about herself. But, she's more than that. _So much more_. She's also a superhero, Queen Bee, and she saves lives and the city her Daddy governs. Not only that, she's helpful too. And she's heroic. And a figure of justice!

… or, at least, when she puts on her mask as Queen Bee. But now she's just Chloé Bourgeois, Chloé who is selfish and rude and mean. _So_ mean that it drives her Adrikins away.

A feeling kicks in Choe's stomach. For a moment, just a moment, Chloé thinks she could tell him, should tell him. She could tell Adrien that she's one of Paris's heroes and that she's more than what he thought of her.

But ...

 _But_ she **can't** tell him her secret identity, that would endanger Adrien's life and Chloé **wasn't** the same fourteen year old girl who used to make false statements about being a superhero on public television just to get affection and adoration. So, actually, she's not just mean, she's caring as well. But it's not like anyone would believe that side of her. She has a heart, she just can't use it.

But maybe her heart's not worth it? After all, being mean wears you down (it wears the people around you even more so).

She looks up from her lap, her silent tantrum is over. She says, though she doesn't mean it or _want_ to mean it, **ever** , "I understand."

Adrien continues eating. He's silent until he asks her another question, "Aren't you going to eat?" He refers to her cooling food.

"I'm not all that hungry." She answers, looking away.

"Please don't be like that."

"I won't let it go to waste. I won't waste food." – Being Queen Bee has made her humble too. She knows the struggle of an empty stomach.

Adrien looks at her, long but not exactly hard. Instead, he is as soft as the first day she met him. Never change, Adrien Agreste.

He tells her, hand moving on reflex to comfort her ... but then he pulls back the last second, "I'm sorry."

 _No, you don't mean that._ Chloé thinks but instead says, "I'll pay for the food myself too."

"Chlo –"

" _I'll pay_." She repeats, trying not to snap, trying not to cause another akuma attack. She thinks she's done enough of that. "I don't want to owe you anything, Adrien." Chloé utters and realization hits her. She can't believe, for the first time in a decade plus, she's calling him by something other than her personalised nickname to him. The thought makes her want to cry.

.

.

.

Curling one finger inwards, Chloé now has less than a handful of people that she loves and cares about.

.

.

.

Thin paper cut fingers wrap around a wrist that's moisturised and strong. "It'll be okay, Chloé." Sabrina says, voice close to breaking down as well. "It'll be okay."

They're twenty-one and Sabrina has just graduated with her law degree. She wishes to stand by Chloé's side the same way her father has stood by Major André Bourgeois's side, through justice and the law. She wants to protect the misunderstood blonde through the terrors of akumas and vigilantes. Though today, Sabrina is unsuccessful as the blonde weeps.

"Why?" Chloé whispers as if she wants Sabrina to not hear her words, to not answer her question. "Why do you stay with me? Why are you so kind to me?" Chloé sniffs and angrily dabs her eyes, frowning for being so emotionally vulnerable. "Why do you put up with me?"

"Because I care about you –"

"You shouldn't, I'm _mean_ , Sabina!" Chloé shouts and threatens to pull away. "I'm mean and I'm rude and I –" The blonde chokes, remembering hurtful words from high school. "And I have no heart."

"No. No, that's not true!" Sabrina says, stopping her best friend from pulling away, wiping away smudge blue eyeshadow, "You do have a heart, Chloé, and I'd never abandon you. I'd never leave you because I know you and you know me."

Chloé looks at Sabrina in the eyes. Blue against green. She looks at Sabrina who is her best friend, Sabrina who has stood by her side since age ten, Sabrina who knows about her love for Ladybug and Adrien and her absent mother.

The blonde swallows back a hiccup. But there's _another_ thing that holds her back. Sabrina doesn't know her secret superhero identify, of being Queen Bee. So Chloé concludes that Sabrina doesn't know _anything_ about her, her so-call best friend. How can Sabrina say she really know the real Chloé Bourgeois? Sabrina's words are ... that's all beggar's talk. That's just –

"I don't believe you."

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 **end**

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 **Notes 2**

The ending was supposed to be a sad happy one but I fucked up … whoops.

I went to Paris, and would you look at that? I'm not writing a mean girl's analysis but an analysis of the mean girl's best friend! Truly, wowie!

I was looking through Chloé's wikipage and apparently this girl dislikes pizza? What the fuck? Guuurl!

– **8 June 2018**


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